hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
