I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
