oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
