8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm having to shit out rocks
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