So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This is the high leading the old right now
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
