The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize