We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just made my gag reflex go away.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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