I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
