We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
