You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
