If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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