Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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