Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Can I color on your dick again?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
