If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i've created a new STD.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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