Kiss
Puke
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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