I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
