So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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