i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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