What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
