4 words: hood of his car
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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