I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
