I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just had sex bonerless
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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