Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
