I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
