Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Boobs speak an international language.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
