I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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