? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
