3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
