Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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