I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
