Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
