just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
