K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
