gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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