Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize