Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
