I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
