you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He did a backflip because drugs
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