I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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