Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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