i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
