Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
try to milk me bitch
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