dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
