Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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