ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
