This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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