Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
