fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
