i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
