Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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