Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
