If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
