I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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