Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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