Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
