i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
