How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
