i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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