shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
