Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
