32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
