Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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