No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
